My Review of Acrimony: Tyler Perry's Promising Film Takes The Angry Black Woman To A New Level4/12/2018 Tyler Perry’s latest movie, Acrimony, left me both laughing and uneasy (partly because I have an obnoxious tendency to laugh at moments most people take too seriously) and the underlying issues were real and relatable. Perry is known for his “Angry Black Woman” narratives which we all can appreciate and dislike simultaneously, but this story is a bit different. This movie foretells the love story of young fearless Melinda and indefatigable Robert who both meet at college. It’s safe to assume the typical love story, boy meets girl, they get married and then infidelity is introduced. This story takes a slightly unique approach. The movie, mostly told from Melinda’s perspective seems captivating and there were quite a few of draw-dropping moments. As Melinda tells her side of the story that involved a lot of love and sacrifice, I sympathized with her feelings. In a relationship, women are naturally givers of their emotions. And some of us love hard, sometimes too hard. Love isn’t love until you sacrifice, so they say. However, this level of sacrifice takes love to another level. Later in the movie, you learn to appreciate Robert’s side of the story. His perspective sheds a little personality on Melinda’s reality. Let’s just say that someone suggested that Melinda struggled with mental illness. Now, the ending (I’ll pause for dramatic effect). As Melinda wraps up her version of the story, she evolves into separate phases which explains her mental condition at the moment. Perry’s intentional focus on mental health plays a key role in the film, but it also reiterates our natural responses to stressful and sometimes unbearable moments. Instead of reaching out when we’re in need, sometimes we rest on the solitude and drown in our own sorrows and pity. If you’re lucky, you survive. Depression, anger, personality disorders, etc. are people’s cry for help. Sometimes we’re heard and then there are moments when we’re misunderstood or judged, and we swell back into our shells. In my opinion, Perry’s surface lesson was this: there are moments in life that can lead to bitterness, jealousy, envy, strife, and loneliness. In the end, it’s better to forgive before it’s too late. -Kristal Alston
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I’m not sure if there is an art to dating, but if you are single, dating or desire to marry, here are things I’ve learned to live my best life now. Before I commit to another human being, I have to make sure I am totally whole, secure and content. Here’s why: Two Halves Don’t Make a Whole Toure’ Roberts, one of my favorite pastors, said it best in his new book Wholeness. Before two people can ever get together, I believe that you have to be a whole person. Being whole means that you are self-sufficient and independent. You need and crave the attention of others, but your self-esteem or values aren’t contingent on their opinions. Getting to this point can be hard to do. The truth is I love to serve people and I value the opinions of others. So much so, that I almost gave on up on becoming an entrepreneur because I was so afraid of what others would say about me. What if I stutter? What if they don’t like what I have to say? What if I sound ignorant or uneducated? What if they label me incompetent or insufficient? I’ll never be enough to some, and I’ll always be more than enough to others. I had to learn that I am who I am. My short hair emboldens me (because everybody can’t rock the short cut lol). My hips are the evidence of late night eating. My laugh is infectious and boisterous. But what the hell? I am who I am. In the words of my other favorite role model, God can’t bless who you pretend to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you in the lane that was created for you (#IssaWord, SJR). We Have to Become Comfortable with Being Alone Now, I love people who thrive off of the support of others, but there comes a time in every person’s life when you have to love the person that stares back at you. A lot of times we say that we love ourselves. We confess these very words but we don’t mean it and it shows in our insecurities. When we taunt others to make our flaws disappear, we choose to crush someone else’s destiny instead of glorifying our own. The hardest thing to do is dig deep inside of yourself when you’re alone. When we are faced with the truth in the darkest hours of the night, the truth can become too hard to bear. It’s uncomfortable to discover that you are the way you are because someone broke you. They broke your spirit or stole your innocence. They hurt you and never whispered an “I’m sorry.” Being comfortable and alone means that you can acknowledge that you’re broken and don’t have all of the pieces together. You then own the responsibility and dedicate time to healing via therapy, prayer, meditation and church. Once you begin this healing process, it will allow your partner the grace to love you all the more. It’s Easy to Self-sabotage I never knew that I self-sabotaged until my co-worker called me out on it a few months ago. Every time a guy approached me, I always instantly rejected him and then I complained why no one wanted to date me. I don’t give second chances. My motto has always been “come correct or don’t come at all.” Choosing this perspective is unrealistic.
From the time I was a little girl, I developed a bad habit. I would cry and get upset with people because I could never articulate my emotions. If someone asked me if I wanted a candy bar, I would tell them no. I really meant yes, but I could never find a way to tell them yes so I would cry about it. Yes is a simple word to articulate, but I've always felt that if I wore my heart on my sleeve, people would see me for who I was and judgment would follow. So a candy bar transpired into dating, and then…well, you know the rest. Moral of the story is, if you want a candy bar, say so. I am now on a road that’s headed away from Self-Sabotage Ville. I believe that when you can master wholeness, contentment, embrace your singleness and learn how to communicate, then you my friend, have mastered the art of dating and relationships in general. Now, go be great. -Kristal Alston So you want to have a good year and do some planning but have no idea how to begin? Y’all, who are you tellin’? I was so ready to have a new beginning. I was struggling and my aunt gave me a swift kick in my butt before I realized I needed to change. I was 27, living a life where I was going through the motions of what I was stuck in and had NO plans for the future. The one thing I did hold on to was empty dreams that I kept setting on a shelf, as if someone was going to come and hand me the solution! I TOOK CONTROL OF MY LIFE … wait… I am not sure if I can say that because I am still technically getting it under control. YIKES!! One life to live much... So what works for me? Well, I needed a kick in the butt by the right person, because no ex-lover, friend, mother, or foe could tell me anything! But I will say my Aunt made me feel a way I had not felt in a while. She made me promise that I would send my one-year plan to her. I will admit I hated the idea of a one-year plan. In my mind, I thought that it was extra work and that it did not truly help anything at all. For a few weeks, I was pumped about it and had made a point to get it done but had never really started anything at all… THEN, she CALLED ME!! She was like “uhmmmm so how is it goin’?” … I knew what that meant … “Are you getting your shit together hahaha…” and I’ll admit, I had truly decided the life I wanted was just not for me. However, something inside of me let me know that I needed to go ahead and give it a try. So, I did what any right-minded person would do in 2017… I went to Pinterest! I needed help and I needed it to stick the way that verbal words had never stuck before. I found monthly and yearly plans and I configured those to fit my life the best way that I could. Before I knew it, I had planned out every month until May 2019 and damn, it felt good! If you're ready to take control of your life, here are 5 tips to get your life back on track! Step #1: You can’t help yourself until you want to be helped. You have to be ready! All the cliché’ sayings that you have heard are very true. At least for me they are and I stand by it. So, I did what any right-minded person would do in 2017… I went to Pinterest! I needed help and I needed it to stick the way that verbal words had never stuck before. I found monthly and yearly plans and I configured those to fit my life the best way that I could. Before I knew it, I had planned out every month until May 2019 and damn, it felt good! So, to get you started, here are 5 steps to take to get your life back on track Step #2: Find an accountability partner to make sure that you are doing what you need to do. Find someone that will call you and “gas you up”—tell you that you are on the right path in spite of how you feel or who the naysayers are! Step #3: I decided I would try the handwritten method instead, but whatever works for you take it--work with it, make it your own! I journal, I have a vision board, a daily notepad, and now I have help sheets for every month that allowed me to plan my life accordingly. Step #4: Get yourself a planner!! This step goes hand in hand with the last step. I had gotten a planner from work, from the discount stores, and several other places, but when I finally located the planner for me, I fell in love! I am a very creative person and the 365 Happy Planners were it for me!! Think of it as a scrapbook that meets a planner! The organization has been amazing! Step #5: Execute your plan! It is going to take time and it is going to be hard but execute your plan one day at a time. One thing I heard while on this journey so far was that if you want something, it will not be easy! You have got to be willing to work for yourself! YOU ARE YOUR OWN STAR PLAYER!! So if you don’t do it for yourself, no one else will! None of this will be easy y’all!! I think that is what we do naturally-- get excited about something, and think that it is going to come easy. It will never come to you that easy, unless you are just that lucky. Nothing ever falls into our laps in the way we that we expect it to, but if the smallest opportunity, even if the smallest dream arises, work for it. So that’s it y’all!! I will leave you with that in hopes that this will push you to be better, dream bigger, and ultimately get off your ass and work for what you want and deserve!
Please don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share! Let me know in the comments if you want to know more about any of the steps and what I did to get there! Always remember to let those brilliant Mindz be Cr3ative! I’m 2018% Done With Last Year!!! Article Written by: Aryiel Everett With the New Year’s rapidly approaching many Americans are anxiously awaiting to set new goals for their New Year’s Resolutions and reevaluate the old ones. Resolutions aren't anything new of course. The long-time tradition that can be traced back to the Roman Empire era.
In 153 B.C. Julius Caesar created New Year’s Resolutions to honor the Roman god Janus. He encouraged the Babylonians to make resolutions with hopes that whatever they borrowed from Janus would be returned. This timeless tradition has carried over to the 21st century. According to sources, about 50% of Americans participate in New Year's Resolutions and but only 35% fulfil their expectations. Out of the 35%, men are more likely to achieve their goals than women. Over the course of the year people tend to lose track of the progress or even forget about the resolutions all together. So why do we continue to set these yearly goals? In my opinion, we want to reestablish a clean slate. Everyone wants to go into the New Year feeling refreshed and renewed while leaving the former year behind. Either way, resolutions produce hope for a better year. What are your New Year's Resolutions? -Vanessa Clark While millennials are swiping left and right to find the right companion, Expert Relationship Coach April A. Carter encourages singles to connect the old fashion way—through face-to-face interaction. Which is exactly why she founded Jax Of Hearts in 2015. “The purpose of Jax Of Hearts is to assist singles in finding long-term love through social interaction and relationship coaching in the Jax, FL region, ”says Carter. Carter connects singles through various singles mixers and gatherings such as Battle of the Sexes, Speed Dating, and Bowling at local venues. Singles are encouraged to mingle and interact in a pressure-free environment. Discovering love does not have to be so intimidating. Let your guard down and have fun! “At my singles events, people will learn that finding a mate is no pressure and is about having fun,” says the Relationship Coach. The Journey to Now... This New York native has been happily married for eight years. Innately, couples asked her for relationship advice which has led to her successful career as a romantic Relationship Coach. In the wake of Carter’s own love journey, she realized that one of the differences between successful and failed relationships is finding a compatible mate. "Being compatible is very important when building a foundation," says Carter. “Not to be confused with similarities. You can be with a totally different person than you, yet still be compatible.” This epiphany birthed an eBook Compatible Companion: A Single Woman’s Guide to Selecting Mr. Right. In this book, Mrs. Carter makes it crystal clear that she is not a matchmaker. This guide was authored to teach individuals about the practical tools required to attract and maintain long-term love. So if you're seeking advice on how to find your compatible mate, April A. Carter is the perfect woman for the job. Relationship Tidbits... If you're looking to transform your love life, multi-faceted relationship expert April A. Carter left little nuggets of advice. For married couples: "Have patience, understanding and forgiveness with one another. Individuals change. It's natural. No one is the same person from ten years ago. If they are, that's a sign of no growth. Allow your spouse the ability to be themselves without any guilt. If they're changing for the worse, counseling and further communication is required.” For the Singles: "Determine if you’re actually ready for love. Sometimes we think we're ready for something then we get it and it's like naaaaahhh. Know who you are and what you want be honest with yourself to select the best mate for long-term love.” Entrepreneurs we haven’t forgotten about you. April is a successful career woman so it’s only right that she imprints her knowledge on you all as well. For the entrepreneurs: “Be true to your ideas and brand. Don't worry about the people that say ‘you can't.’ Put out the best product or service that you can. Follow up on your responsibilities and your customers. Put in the hard work and watch your business flourish. This advice can also be applied to your relationships.” You can connect with April A. Carter via these social media platforms: INSTAGRAM: @april.reign FACEBOOK: April A. Carter or Jax Of Hearts 904 TWITTER: AprilACarter EMAIL: [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]> You may download her eBook here: http://app.getresponse.com/click.html?x=a62b&lc=BQRugb&mc=Jw&s=HqdH66&u=BrvKN&y=x& dr. shari calickerJust one encounter with Dr. Shari Calicker will have you anxiously awaiting your next appointment. She is a first generation Family Medicine Physician with three and a half years of experience. In 2014, Dr. Calicker graduated from Meharry Medical College, one of the nation’s largest and oldest Historically Black Medical Institutions in the South. She currently practices at St. Vincent Primary Care Center on the North side of Jacksonville. Dr. Calicker grew up in the social locale of Beltsville, Maryland. The diverse environment made it easy to connect with peers, but she found it hard to cultivate the relationship with her mother. Dr. Calicker set out to become a psychiatrist with hopes to improve their tumultuous relationship. In 2005, Dr. Calicker attended Xavier University of Louisiana. After graduation, she made plans to attend Medical school but she found the Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT) to be more challenging than she expected. After being placed on the wait list, she moved back home to Prince George’s County. She was shopping at Costco when she received the phone call that transformed her career. “A spot had opened in the Post Baccalaureate program and it started in a week,” says Dr. Calicker. “Next thing I knew, I was on a flight to Nashville." One year after she had successfully completed the program, she began her first year at Meharry Medical College. Her destiny eventually collided with Family Medicine and she fell in love with it. There, she also met her husband Donovan. The couple wedded on October 5, 2015. Being a Doctor is a huge milestone, but Dr. Calicker’s career can become quite challenging at times. “On one hand, you are an inspiration because no one believes that you are a Doctor, and that it is so wonderful that you are so accomplished,” she says. “On the other hand, it’s frustrating because no one believes you are a Doctor and you constantly have to prove yourself worthy because you are not what comes to mind when people think of the word ‘Doctor’.” Somewhere along her journey she focused more on influencing others and less on proving herself to the world. She encourages the next generation to overcome stereotypes and embrace one’s authenticity through her blogs, relationships and career. “I’m able to change not just physical lives, but mindsets. You can look like me and transcend beyond what you are used to seeing. That to me is the dopest thing about being a Physician,” she says. You may find Dr. Calicker on all social media platforms below. - Facebook Page : Doctor Mrs - Instagram & Twitter Page: @thisisdoctormrs - Email: [email protected] - Website: www.doctormrs.com -Kristal Alston While thousands of locals frequented topstore brands, the community circulated the black dollar at the first REAL Black Friday Arts and Vendors Market. Hundreds gathered on the Eastside to patronize local Black-Owned businesses. From creative arts, to clothing, organic scrubs, and performances the Market displayed black excellence at its finest. A few dozen vendors such as Unapologetically Single, Meenata’s Crown Jewel and Candi’s Bags lined the streets. Jacksonville’s own, The Katz Downstairz, stirred the crowd with R&B and Old School Hits. Hundreds of families and children enjoyed soul fare from the food trucks with a cool, crisp breeze. The Market had a very successful turn-out. Let's continue to support each other! This event is one of the many more to come. In case you missed it, below are some of the items that were sold at the market. ja'zari dream handmade natural productsYou at purchase her products here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/529735231/coco-mel-handmade-bar-soap?ref=listing-shop-header-3 glonda's hairYou may purchase this book below: http://glondashair.bigcartel.com/ candi bagsYou can purchase her bags here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/candibags16 unapolegetically single Just a few products from Lezita Caldwell's customizable gift collection. No captions needed. You may purchase gifts here:
http://www.unapologeticallysingle.com/shop |
Emerging Black
Kristal Alston is native of Jacksonville who enjoys blogging, traveling and meeting new people. Archives
July 2018
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