DEAR CELIBACY READERS,
I AM CELIBATE. There, I said it.
It’s not a cool thing to do and it’s certainly not fun at times, but whoever I choose to be with will be worth the wait. Why am I celibate you may ask? How can I go without sex when it feels so pleasurable? How can I withhold myself when science and nature conspire against my will to discipline myself? The answer isn’t an easy one and the process sure hell isn’t, but here’s my response.
No one tells you the truth about the regret that settles in the next morning. No one explains how used you feel after you’ve taken the walk of shame. They don’t tell you how you feel dirty and yet again, you are another person’s body count. Just another number to brag about to their friends.
Besides “unexpected” pregnancies and STDs, people don’t tell the truth about the spiritual connections you make when experiencing intimacy. You find yourself innately and unconsciously becoming a part of someone’s soul without even realizing it.
People assume that it’s only women who become emotionally attached after sex, and I’m not sure how true that it is. In my opinion, men and women are affected alike. Don’t believe me? Have you ever been attached or attracted to someone after you’ve had sex when you’ve barely known them? Have you ever desired to be around someone who treats you like crap but because the sex is good, you are willing to stick around? Or have you experienced an unknown pull towards someone after sex and could never explain why? It’s more than just physical, it’s a spiritual connection.
Many may say that sex enables you to be in full control of your body. Your body has power. You have the power to make people feel things they would have never experienced before. We are naturally creators and are doing exactly what we are supposed to do. But, I like to view my body as something much greater than a toy. My jewels are not something to play with when you feel like it, only to placed back in the box when you’re occupied.
I think that waiting for sex makes things special. It builds a child-like, wide-eyed mystery in a relationship. Celibacy opens up doors for new possibilities of intimacy. You can create romance and chemistry and spark and zest without sexual intercourse. Your mind isn’t clouded or judged by that person’s physique. You know how to function more clearly and think a bit more logically about your significant other when sex is not involved.
To me waiting for sex is sexy. It’s handsome and admirable. It’s attractive and succulent in all of the right ways. It’s loving and intimate. Waiting to have sex is like drinking a nice, crisp aged glass of wine.
The longer you wait to open it, the better it becomes to sip it.